One of the hallmarks of good parenting is consistency. Having a regular bedtime, for example.
Consistency is something my wife and I take seriously. This came up just this morning.
Xavier was sitting at the table as I was getting his breakfast ready. He was waiting perhaps about 30 seconds. This is, of course, an eternity to a toddler. He started messing around with the placemat, scooting it off of the table.
I told him to keep his placemat on the table. He chose to take it completely off the table and have it land on the floor. I then told him to pick it up, and he refused. This eventually escalated to the point of him getting placed in a “time out” – and this is where the consistency comes in.
As he was placed in time out (which is still in the kitchen, sort of next to where I was) he proceeded to scooch forward out of his spot. I told him to get back where he was supposed to be. This naturally escalated into another battle of wills. Every time he moved out of the spot, his time out started over.
What could have been a simple resolution (leaving the placemat alone) had escalated into an early morning struggle for control. Did I need to take it that far? He’s only two and a half.
As parents, we may be consistently wrong, but we are consistent.
Consistency is something that my wife and I struggle with from time to time. We only have our one little boy so I guess that part of it needs to be practice. Whats surprising to me though is that he has his routines he expects us to follow. Sometimes he will remind me to dry my hands after washing or to help put away a chair. Sometimes he is more consistent than we are. :\
It’s surprising in a way how much kids need and even want consistency and routine. We as adults have learned and adapted to a lack of it.
When did my 4-year-old infiltrate your home? That sounded exactly like the breakfast/supper battles we fight every day. Only, instead of a placemat, it’s his plate.
god help me if the kids are up and have breakfast before I have a full cup of coffee in the morning. My patience is very thin in the morning as it is.